Fangs for the Fantasy

We've all seen Beauty and the Beast.  What if, Gaston had been maligned and was actually the good guy? In Gerard's Beauty, this is exactly what Hall proposes.  Gerard, had fallen in love with Belle, doting on her, and doing her bidding at all times.  Belle however had other ideas and instead of being with the man that was supposedly good for her, she fell for the Beast because he was rich, leaving Gerard alone and in misery.  Gerard was heartbroken and believed his life could not get any worse but then a princess threw herself at him and now the entire kingdom wants to exact revenge for his manwhorish ways. Luckily for Gerard, his fairy godmother has a plan.  If Gerard can somehow make his true love, fall in love with him in thirty days, he can win his freedom and spare his life. 

 

I don't know why I keep punishing myself by reading these re-writes of fairy tales.  I've only read one series that's been good, yet I keep taking another bite out of the apple in the hope that this feat can be repeated.  Gerard's Beauty is an epic failure. I suppose some of this is my fault because what good has ever come from a cover with man titteh?  I know that paranormal romance is all about a couple falling in love but it usually comes with some version of a plot - something to make you want to root for the HEA but I simply couldn't get through this fast enough. 

 

Gerard, the protagonist is an asshole. There's no other way to put it. He's actually not far from being an incel and that's creepy as fuck. Gerard spends a lot of time up in his feelings because Beauty chose another man and made him feel stupid because she is smarter than him.   The man is actually illiterate but because he felt that it was unmanly to read, he never took the time to learn. So, Beauty's biggest crime is simply deciding that she wanted to be with someone else and didn't return the love he felt for her.   Gerard is an empty headed ass who thinks that he's entitled to women's bodies.  Of course, this belief is bolstered by the fact that every woman wants to throw herself at him because of his super hot bod and breathe that smells like brandy (ewww). Even the head fairy godmother is angry at him because of his rejection of her. 

 

Gerard is sent to earth to claim the heart of Betty, who is just getting over a broken heart thanks to getting involved with a playa.  Betty supposedly is taking a break from men in order to regroup but when Gerard shows up outside of the library where she works, looking like a homeless man, Betty suddenly cannot resist him because he's so damn hot.  When Betty realises that Gerard doesn't have a place to sleep and the weather is inclement, she decides to take him home. Look, I get looking out for someone who has less and is potentially vulnerable but who takes them home because they're horny?

 

Gerard is sent to earth by his fairy godmother to buy time while she intervenes with the citizens of fairy world (for lack of a better term) because they are upset that he may have despoiled a princess. Gerard of course claims his innocence and argues that the "coquine" threw herself at him and he rejected her, leaving her purity in tact. Yes, coquine is french for slut. Slut, skank and whore are words that Hall uses repeatedly in this short book to refer to women. In 188 pages, Hall manages to slut shame female characters ten times.