The Demon Mistress (Eva Prim #1) by Jordan K. Rose

The Demon Mistress - Jordan K. Rose

Chrysanthemum is a hot mess.  No matter what she touches, disaster seems to ensue. Yes, she always means well but that doesn't change the outcome.  When her Master/Husband gives her the gift of a computer, Chrysanthemum decides to take the opportunity to find new friends.  What better way to attract people than to create a blog and go viral? Just like everything else Chrysanthemum touches however a disaster quickly ensues.  Before she can even begin to contemplate the repercussions, she's accused of kidnapping a mate, involved in giving the world vampire secrets and has a bounty on her head.

It really is a miracle that I made it all the way through this book.  At about the 10% mark I was actively struggling to decide whether or not to DNF.  The protagonist is clueless and absolutely beyond annoying.  Chrysanthemum was born in 1812 which made her 204 at the time that A Demon Mistress was published and she read as less sensible than a ten year old.  I could have tolerated it had this book been made for a YA audience but A Demon Mistress is clearly aimed at adults.  We all know someone who isn't that bright but Rose takes it to extremes with Chrysanthemum. 

One of the things that really irritated me about The Demon Mistress, is its desperate attempt to be funny.  It's actually anything but.  Someone needs to tell Rose that comedy is not her strong suit. Simply creating a ridiculous situation for your protagonist to be in doesn't make the book funny. When this is added to how implausible the whole thing is, it makes it that much more ridiculous. For example, Chrysanthemum stops at a burger joint to pick up some dinner for herself and the two demons she has acquired and the guy working the check out window just happens to be Margaritaman - an active commenter on her blog.  Does Rose have any idea of the vastness of the internet and the likelihood of that happening?  Also, someone working the checkout window does not leave said business to deliver food to a car; this is not 1950. Of course, Margaritaman is high on dope which consequently makes Chrysanthemum high when she feeds on him.  It's nonsense. 

Throughout the book, Chrysanthemum gains new powers that she cannot explain.  They just appear conveniently when she needs them.  Nothing like pulling power out of your ass.  It makes absolutely no sense and Rose doesn't even bother to vaguely try to justify this ridiculous writers tactic.  It's clear that it's about Rose writing herself out of corner due to ineptitude. Everything must work out and so the only way to do that is to create a power for Chrysanthemum.

If all of these faults were not enough, all of characters sound exactly the same.  Everyone who comments on  Chrysanthemum's blog sounds exactly like her, as do the friends she picks up along the way.  The point of having multiple characters is to bring something to the story, not just run in a repetitive loop sounding the same no matter what is going on.  The only differentiation between characters is between Chrysanthemum and her Master/Husband which should have bought relief but given Stefan's abuse, it turned out to be anything but.



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