Kalona's Fall (House of Night #11.5) by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast

Kalona's Fall: A House of Night Novella (House of Night Novellas) by Cast, P. C., Cast, Kristin (2014) Hardcover - Kristin Cast

I think the easiest way to sum up this short story is to re-write it in a way that makes sense (for House of Night anyway). So I’m reading Mother Earth as a troll who absolutely loathes Nyx while Nyx is that House Guest who won’t take a fucking hint (she taught Nyx everything, clearly). I can now follow the plot which now seems a lot more coherent. So:

 

 

Mother Earth: Ah Earth, so peaceful and special, just me and my children…

 

Nyx: Helooooooooooooo

 

Mother Earth:… you’re still here? All the other immortals fucked off years ago

 

Nyx: No, I’m going to stay here forever and ever…

 

ME: Oh. Yay. And I see you have tattoos now

 

Nyx: Aren’t they wonderful

 

ME:… yes… I’m sure. In no way does it look like a sugar high six year old was let loose on you with a sharpie.

 

Nyx: Look the book has illustrations!

 

ME: Thankfully that means less text.

 

Nyx: I love Earth and my fae just love frolicking here

 

ME: You mean your slaves that exist to serve you love taking holidays as far away from you as they can possibly get? Funny that…

 

Nyx: I’m just so lonely…

 

ME: I wish I was… I know, if I give you a companion you can spend more time anywhere I’m not. Sun, Moon, get down here and create some poor sap to endure Nyx!

 

Nyx: Oh thank you! Hey, they’ve created two?

 

ME: Oh, how surprising. I totally didn’t do that on purpose so they would both compete for your affections and drive you to distraction. Not At All.

 

 

Erebus: Hi Mother Earth!

 

ME: Oh charming wonderful boy, welcome!

 

Kalona: Hi Mother Earth!

 

ME: you can fuck right off, arsehole.

 

Kalona: I’m like 5 minutes old…

 

ME: like I give a fuck? Enjoy the head games, kiddies. Hey, do you know what would make this more fun? If I give these 10 minute year old beings super powers and make them use those powers to compete for your affections, Nyx! Because new borns competing for mummy’s love AND wifey’s love with super powers is bound to create a stable relationship

 

 

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Source: http://www.fangsforthefantasy.com/2016/05/kalonas-fall-house-of-night-115-by-pc.html