Fangs for the Fantasy

Rhiannon is trying to live her life as quietly as she can – alone, without attracting attention – at least no more than her hair trigger temper and quick mouth get her – and normal. She certainly doesn’t want to think about her ability to see ghosts – especially the ones that died violently, like her parents

Then the vampires find her and suddenly she’s in demand. There’s a murder to solve, a vampire killer to track down – and her own safety to find her. Because if a vampire will claim her now she is known –it’s just a matter of who

We have a spiky, anti-social protagonist. She curses a lot (and people complain about it to draw attention to it and because, hey, you may drink blood and be investigating a murder, but damn those bad words) and has lots of sarcastic little snits at people around her and generally makes her as loveable as a porcupine. I especially like the moment she asks a really personal, outrageous question (whether the vampires have sex while drinking blood) and then gets all huffy because Disco is short with his response. Shockingly, despite being touchier than a rabid rhino, she’s surprisingly mellow about vampires who basically blackmail her into serving.

She has a psychic power (Necromancy) that makes her super desirable to the vampires. There’s also lots of hints that one day this will make her uber powerful (since she already has more power than any of the other necromancers around even without any training at all, because she’s just that special). This power also puts her at risk to vampires so she must join with Disco or face doom and horror. Amazingly, she’s actually lived her whole life being ignored by vampires until Disco then suddenly that’s it she has days to decide to pledge herself to him or it’s open season. The minute she meets him another vampire appears to scare her and basically force her into Disco’s arms. Personally I’d be suspicious about that if I were her, but I think it’s just convenient, clumsy writing. So he has to mark her, binding her as his (making her his bound human servant) through a mark which creates a super erogenous zone, because of course it does.

She uses this nifty little convenient power to help solve a series of murders the vampires are investigating. That investigation is actually pretty terrible – they go to a party where rich people are tasting vampire blood (because it’s a drug, yes, yet another original concept here) to try and find out who is kidnapping and killing vampires for their organs… I just… why? I mean, they get invited to this rich, exclusive party THROUGH THEIR DEALER! Why these people would be involved in organ shenanigans I don’t know. It’d be like going to a rich shindig with cocaine and asking people if they happen to had a sideline in harvesting kidneys! YET IT WORKS! Aaaaargh. Well, kind of, actually the mystery is more solve when Rhiannon is kidnapped by the bad guys. No that’s not a spoiler, that’s how EVERY MURDER INVESTIGATION IN URBAN FANTASY IS SOLVED. Hell, Anita Blake, Sookie Stackhouse, a handful of Kelly Armstrong’s protags – if they didn’t get kidnapped by the big bad there’s absolutely no way they’d ever solve the crimes they’re investigating.

She also has dead parents and a tragic, traumatic past that makes it impossible to trust and be always alone and a sad panda (like every other urban fantasy protagonist ever) until the super sexy vampire comes along and heals her pain with his magical penis.

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